Growing up relatively poor in the Bayview- Hunters Point community (I grew up in low-income housing, and my front yard was home to local street gangs), I have only recently begun to realize the American dream. Certain changes that have occurred within the last four years contributed to my realization of the dream.

Moving away to attend a predominantly African- American university especially coming from the Bay view, I never realized just what a different location would mean. On a predominantly African- American campus, hospitality and friendliness are alive and well. But here on the streets of San Francisco, CA, today, I find myself in the middle of a totally different scenario. To walk these streets is to be seen as a criminal. People of all kinds would rather cross the street than pass by a black man for fear of getting robbed or mugged.

Being perceived as a criminal destroys the already slight chance of receiving any friendliness or hospitality from anyone--white, black, male, or female. To come back home only to realize that I am less than welcome here creates a somewhat akin to culture shock.

I have come to realize that every black man has had this experience at one time or another. Nevertheless, neither this realization nor my Bay view upbringing is enough to prevent me from feeling the same as any other black man when faced with this same situation. A black man who finds himself in my position, the cause of nothing short of terror in others, may experience a false sense of joy due to his ability to frighten others.  This joy may be misguided, but it is present nevertheless. For the average black man, authority is a thing almost alien to him. Being feared by others seemingly places him in authority, especially where whites are involved.

Fear of the white man reminded the black man of a time when the roles were reversed, and the black man lived perpetual fear of the white man. This misguided joy does not last long, gradually giving way to anger. The white man expects the black man to hurt the white man. But resorting to violence would be the very reaction the white man expects. Knowing this, the black man’s only recourse is to do the opposite, subsequently turning his anger inward. In which often, a young black man searches for reasons why he seems to be viewed as a threat to the white man. Therefore many black men too often seek to change these offenders. Maybe he attempts to appear more cheerful and happy or even change his physical appearance.

Brent Staples, a noted psychologist, documents his own attempts at such a change in his essay “Black Men and Public Space.” Sadly some black men may even go so far as to become as much like the white man as possible to disarm him. After all of his attempts have failed, the black man finds himself in deep sorrow. He realizes at last that no amount of change he does will alter his situation. Now the questions begin to run through his head. He wonders why no one can see him for who he is rather than who he seems to be.

"Public Fear in Public Space:  Addressing "a painful topic that many blacks would rather not confront,"